Welington Marathon Clinic
The Great WMC Limerick Run Off

Hail all yee contenders
Come join us Limerick renderers
no entry, so paltry
shall be considered desult’ry
make all runners and walkers senders

Limerictus

Limerictus is a highly contagious infliction bought about by over exposure to limericks and limerick writing.
The symptoms are:

An unfaltering urge to talk in rhyme, and the use of alliteration and assonance at every opportunity.
An advanced form of the condition is characterised by a compulsion to dance in time to the limerick rhyme;
“Hoppity-skip, hoppity-skip, plié, plié, en pointe, pirouette”
Consult your local ballet choreographer for more variations.

The Entries So Far

send your entries to Contact WMC

1] Gordie by Stan and Rob J

There was a marathon runner named Gordie,
Got to 50, hailed magna cum laude,
When he switched up to burn on,
It was such a turn on,
Now he runs on three legs, Oh Lordie!

2] Young Jillian by Rob Julian

Young Jillian’s the Clinic’s VP
Most times she’s as nice as can be
But when she shows ire
Her eyes flash out fire
She wants all trophies ASAP

3] Author by Stan

The author of Robjuliorum
Writes prose with bravura and decorum
His output is so prodigious
To amaze, amuse and tickl’ us
That he doesn’t know quite where to store’ em

4] IT Expert by Rob J

A young IT expert called Stan
Raised his hand up and said ‘Yes I can
Be the Clinic webmaster
There ain’t no one faster
Cause hey, you know I’m Stan the man’

5] Kelvin by Stan

Kelvin is out for one week and one week
To support what the All Blacks do seek
Tony’s still out
So if you’re about
Please take the 5.30 pack to a peak

6] Past My Prime by Gordie

30 Years, 50 Marathons completed,
It’s all been so fast, I feel cheated,
Alas, past my prime,
Performance decline,
Yet I’m still feeling smug and conceited

7] Suspicious Minds by Rob J

Oh why am I filled with suspicion
This lim’ric meets every condition
It’s so good and trendy
I wonder if Wendy
Is giving our Gordie tuition

But Wendy replied “He won’t boast of it
But the lim’ric was his when he posted it
I made some suggestions
But to answer your questions
The work was all Gordies. Well, most of it”.

8] Limerictus by Stan

Eeee gad, I’m having a conniption
For this most infernal cerebal conception
I’m speaking in time
To Lim’rick’s meter and rhyme
Send me off for a head consultation

9] Clinic Stalward by Rob J
A Clinic stalwart Tony Coard
Told the committee “I’m bored
But I won’t make a fuss
I’ll just hire a bus
And load up the Clinic. D’Accord?”

10] Amber by Rob J
A much beloved member called Amber
Would far rather run than do samba
‘I do love a jog
Though I’m merely a dog
So just label me Amber the rambler’.

11] Regular by Stan
The results are highly spectacular
The doctors agree.. “most particular”
When it comes to number 2
Your time to poo
Clinic members are exemplary regular

12] Hat Tricks by Brian H

At cricket he often scored hat-tricks
a sprightly young “runner” called Patrick
while out on his runs
he’d think up his puns
knowing failures could always be limericks.

13] Tippy Toe by Stan
There once was a runner rife with neuroses
Concerning her footsies and toe-sies
She entered the mile
and won it in style
All on account of her fine tipsy toe-sies

She pouted and smiled for camera poses
While taking her bouquet of roses
There’s something askew
As the crowd went blue
All on account of her ripe tipsy toe-sies

The crowd parted, like the sea did for Moses
As she past, one and all went into lordosis
She consulted a good doctor
What he said, truly rocked her
“It’s all on account of your tippy toe halitosis”

14] Gordistic by Stan

All clinic members went ballistic
To hear this new statistic
Fifty marathon, one hundred halves
From those arms, hips and calves
He’s a man machine sado masochistic

15] I Can You Know by Gordie

I display such limerick agility
That you all doubt my ability
How dare you imply
That I just do not try
If only the criteria were soliloquy

16] Sue Hamlett by Rob J

Sue Hamlett has said ‘If I meet you
On a Marathon Walk I will beat you
Though I’m not built for speed
I will still take the lead
‘Cos I’ve hiked the whole trail Machu Picchu’

17] Twins by Brian H

Its confusing to run with our twins
In the teeth of a Wellington wind
Since there’s no way of tellin’
if “tis Sally or Helen
Let’s be glad there twins and not quinns.

18] Twins verse 2 by Rob J

But a member said ‘It is no bother
‘Cos I’ve sussed out a way to discover

For if it is Sally
Who runs in the valley
Then Helen is surely the other’.

Winner

And the winner to the Great WMC Limerick Run Off is #1 “Gordie” by Stan and Rob, as judged by the WMC committee.

Many thanks to all contributors,readers, and the WMC committee.


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